If you have grown up with a father present and active in your life, count yourself blessed. I’ve been learning a little bit about the consequences of growing up in a father-absent home—a problem that many of our kids at Living Hope deal with. Here are some stats:
F 1 in every 3 children in America
F “Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor.”
F “Children who live in father-absent homes, on average, are at least two to three times more likely to use drugs; to experience educational, health, emotional, and behavioral problems; to be victims of child abuse; to become teen parents; and to engage in criminal behavior.”
(Cited in A New Era of Partnerships: Report of Recommendations to the President- March 2010, pp. 30-31)
I have been blessed with a dad who has not only been present, but also has trained me up in the way I should go. Every year I become more and more thankful for my dad. To honor him before you all today, here is a (very incomplete) list of fond memories I have with Dad.
Memories with Dad
F I believe one of the most important activities of my life was evening storytime and devotions that Dad led throughout my childhood. Christianity was an everyday reality for my parents, and they passed that on to me, while also building family cohesion. Reading together also had a strong impact on my academic abilities.
F Dad led songs on his guitar at home sometimes, and he also brought us kids along to sing at the “Children’s Home,” and the nursing homes in town. Though sometimes I didn’t want to be there when I was really little, I grew to love it, and now I am so thankful that he led us into the places of people who were lonely, disabled, and different from ourselves and showed us how we could minister.
F Playing games with him in the afternoons when I was in kindergarten. We played chess, backgammon, the memory game…He would always try to make us tie in the memory game. I’m pretty sure I can beat him now.
F Bedtime was great! Dad tucked us into bed almost every night when we were little. First JaNae and I would run upstairs and hide from him—pretty much always in the exact same spots. He would tuck us in and kiss our cheeks, and we would kiss his prickly face. When he left, we would have a contest of “I love you more!” and he would sing “Good night, ladies,” as he went down the stairs.
F Dad gave us chores—taught us that wonderful word “responsibility.” He also set up a system where we were paid for our chores and taught us to portion out our money: We had a “spending” cup, a “savings” cup, a “tithe” cup, and a “college” cup. I’ve never had trouble with tithing or saving, because it’s been so ingrained in me.
F Dad taught me how to play badminton and tennis. Sometimes he would park the car in front of the tennis court and blare classical music as we played. He would always play “his best”—meaning he would do his best to hit the ball straight to me, and if I got close to beating him, then he would play his best. J
F Swimming- We would get to stand on his shoulders as he walked into the deeper part of the pool. Sometimes he would catapult us off.
F Dad was always supportive with school. I think his elementary ed. major and his devotion to us kids in our early years was a major factor in how well all three of us did in school. One of my very favorite things to do in 2nd grade was to practice math flashcards with dad. We would do it almost every night. I would set the timer on the microwave for 1 minute and then run to the dining room. Dad would see how many flashcards I could get right before the time was up.
F Dad definitely supported me in the spelling bee. He helped me study—and I think he liked it more than I did—but I don’t think he pushed me too hard or let me off too easy.
F I clearly remember one hug that was especially meaningful. When I found out my best friend at school was about to move away, he gave me a long hug before bed--it was just what I needed.
F I loved having Dad involved in jr. high youth group. He did a great job with teaching and also led games well. (Does anyone remember “Africa and the door knob”?)
F Dad was also very supportive and involved in swimming (with no hard feelings that I chose that over tennis J). It meant so much to have him and mom and every swim meet they could possibly make it to.
F Dad got our family leading worship in church. He still leads worship once a month, and he is truly a blessing to the family at FBC.
F We had many wonderful family trips: Itasca, Black Hills , Florida , Wisconsin Dells, Yellowstone, trip around Lake Superior , family camp every summer, a canoe trip with the youth group…
F I remember some times when Dad helped me out of my own stupid mistakes. Once when I made a incredibly foolish purchase over the phone, he came home from work early the next day to help me get some of my money back.
F Dad is my main competitor in the Great Game of Boggle. He also comes up with great definitions in Balderdash. And of course there is the game of Scum. He may be overly competitive and play the part of “annoying little brother” quite well, but we all love it. J
F Dad has always been a great provider for our whole family. His generous provision throughout college and even now has been a huge blessing! Though he has worked very hard to provide for our family, I am deeply thankful that he has never put work before family.
F He has succeeded in passing down a love for God, for His word, and for missions. He has also succeeded in passing down the mindset of thriftiness. He has halfway succeeded in passing down his love for coffee, crossword puzzles, brainteasers, and hot sauce.
F As I work at Living Hope, I do not take for granted that many people’s parents would not understand or support such a career choice. Dad and Mom have been extremely supportive from day one, not only understanding, but also supporting financially as they are able, praying for me, and helping in huge ways with support-raising. I can’t imagine working at Living Hope without their help to get here and their continued support.
F I also do not take for granted that my Dad loves my Mom. He has been faithful to her and continued loving her for their 28 years of marriage. He has modeled well what a good father and a good husband look like, which has been a gigantic blessing to me. By God’s grace, he has done well to lead the Stynsberg family, and as a result I have a vision for the family to pass on to many who lack that vision.
Dad, I thank God for you often and I love you very much. Be blessed today!
*tear* the tucking us in memory was my favorite. Love you Dad!!!
ReplyDelete-JaNae
That was beautiful, Alyssa! Your dad and mom are role models for us all. You have such a special family. Yes... you are blessed.
ReplyDeleteSoli Deo Gloria
It's my turn. It's wonderful to hear of the impact that my baby brother has had on his family. May that impact continue for many generations!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blogs, Lyss. I also celebrate the gift of Godly parents with you.
ReplyDeleteYou need to exercise my memory with "Africa and the Door knob"