Thursday, May 27, 2010
Hip-hop dancing with 8-year-olds=FUN
Every Monday night we would have kids age 2 through 2nd grade at the church for Transformers Kids Club. We had too many kids to get them all home in one van-load, so many of them would end up staying after for a while. What do you do with these rambunctious kids as they wait to go home?
DANCE PARTY!
That's right. One night I decided to pump my Lecrae cd in the youth room and see if the kids would want to dance. They did not disappoint. The kids had a blast break-dancing to some solid Christ-centered lyrics. I made a fool of myself (especially compared to the impressive break-dancing displayed here) and had a blast. (Fortunately did not get in a video.)
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Reflecting on Refining
As the school year has come to a close, it is good to reflect on the past months at Living Hope. The themes that have been interwoven through the year have been refining and prayer. The two have gone hand in hand.
As the school year began, I was beginning to feel led toward coming on staff with Living Hope. The process of discerning this and deciding to do it was a little bit hard, but it was not nearly as hard as sticking with the decision. Don't get me wrong; I love Living Hope, and I was happy to continue in the relationships that had been established and the ministry I had been doing for the past 3 years. But saying yes to this meant saying no to a lot of other things. In years past, God had already asked me to say no to College Choir, working at camp, and studying abroad for the sake of Living Hope. Now He was asking me to graduate a semester earlier than I anticipated (or wanted). This was the source of refining last fall. There was not a day that went by when I did not think about the classes I wanted to take and the things I wanted to do in the Spring semester; I did not want to graduate in December. (Some of you will find this hard to understand!) But this is where prayer came in. It drove me to God, drove me to prayer. He helped me understand that His plan was much better than anything I could come up with. His plan is perfect, so it is foolishness to complain and utter stupidity to disobey.
So I moved forward. I wrote my support letter and sent it out. I found a place to live near the ministry. I determined to enjoyed every minute of college and was deeply blessed by my final semester. Then came January.
Since my struggle up to this point had been with accepting God's plan regarding graduation, I had not spent a lot of time pondering His plan regarding Living Hope. And so, my first day on the job in January began a new step in the refining process. I was banged on the head with the reality that now I had to raise support. And the fact that support-raising is hard.
The problem wasn't that I didn't trust God to provide for me. I had no question of that. The problem was that I actually had to do something; this was not a situation where I could just sit there and wait for God to drop money from the sky (wouldn't that be nice?!). I had to get out of my comfort zone and ask people to support me. Even this would not be so bad, but the problem was bigger than the fear of asking people for money. The problem was that my heart wasn't in it anymore. I had obeyed God in coming on staff with Living Hope, but I had not obeyed from the heart. As I sat alone, crying out to God after my first day on staff, I wondered if I would even give money toward this ministry. If I wouldn't, how could I possibly ask anyone else to?
Again, the theme of prayer shines through--and of God's faithfulness to answer. I cried out to Him for joy, thankfulness, encouragement, and a renewed passion for this ministry. He answered! There's no other way to describe what happened; He just gave it to me.
But the refining process continued. I was tested by low numbers in youth group--as some kids moved away, some of our neediest kids could no longer come because of behavior issues, and--saddest of all--some just didn't want to come. Oh, I was tempted to be so discouraged. But for this too, we cried out to God, and He heard us. He gave us precious Truth: that He is in control, that His plan is good, that this season of low numbers can be a very good thing. And in many ways it was. We taught the few kids who came challenging truths; they listened more than they ever had before. We poured ourselves out for a few and were focused in prayer. We became more like a family.
As low numbers persist, the task of support raising still looms, and the future (even my job description) is pretty blurry, the discouragement comes back every now and then. The enemy knows where my weaknesses are. But these times of hardship are refining me. I am learning to pray--with discipline, with spontaneity; often alone, and often with others. And as I take an honest look at my inadequacy for what lies before me at Living Hope, I am learning to stop looking at myself so much (for that leads only to discouragement or my other great weakness--pride), but rather to gaze on Christ, my Savior, Sustainer, Sufficiency, and my Beloved.
My trials have been so small compared to what many of my loved ones are going through. But may it always be a comfort, to me and to you, that God does not waste trials of any size or shape. Through the painful refining process, He is conforming us to the glorious image of His Son.
As the school year began, I was beginning to feel led toward coming on staff with Living Hope. The process of discerning this and deciding to do it was a little bit hard, but it was not nearly as hard as sticking with the decision. Don't get me wrong; I love Living Hope, and I was happy to continue in the relationships that had been established and the ministry I had been doing for the past 3 years. But saying yes to this meant saying no to a lot of other things. In years past, God had already asked me to say no to College Choir, working at camp, and studying abroad for the sake of Living Hope. Now He was asking me to graduate a semester earlier than I anticipated (or wanted). This was the source of refining last fall. There was not a day that went by when I did not think about the classes I wanted to take and the things I wanted to do in the Spring semester; I did not want to graduate in December. (Some of you will find this hard to understand!) But this is where prayer came in. It drove me to God, drove me to prayer. He helped me understand that His plan was much better than anything I could come up with. His plan is perfect, so it is foolishness to complain and utter stupidity to disobey.
So I moved forward. I wrote my support letter and sent it out. I found a place to live near the ministry. I determined to enjoyed every minute of college and was deeply blessed by my final semester. Then came January.
Since my struggle up to this point had been with accepting God's plan regarding graduation, I had not spent a lot of time pondering His plan regarding Living Hope. And so, my first day on the job in January began a new step in the refining process. I was banged on the head with the reality that now I had to raise support. And the fact that support-raising is hard.
The problem wasn't that I didn't trust God to provide for me. I had no question of that. The problem was that I actually had to do something; this was not a situation where I could just sit there and wait for God to drop money from the sky (wouldn't that be nice?!). I had to get out of my comfort zone and ask people to support me. Even this would not be so bad, but the problem was bigger than the fear of asking people for money. The problem was that my heart wasn't in it anymore. I had obeyed God in coming on staff with Living Hope, but I had not obeyed from the heart. As I sat alone, crying out to God after my first day on staff, I wondered if I would even give money toward this ministry. If I wouldn't, how could I possibly ask anyone else to?
Again, the theme of prayer shines through--and of God's faithfulness to answer. I cried out to Him for joy, thankfulness, encouragement, and a renewed passion for this ministry. He answered! There's no other way to describe what happened; He just gave it to me.
But the refining process continued. I was tested by low numbers in youth group--as some kids moved away, some of our neediest kids could no longer come because of behavior issues, and--saddest of all--some just didn't want to come. Oh, I was tempted to be so discouraged. But for this too, we cried out to God, and He heard us. He gave us precious Truth: that He is in control, that His plan is good, that this season of low numbers can be a very good thing. And in many ways it was. We taught the few kids who came challenging truths; they listened more than they ever had before. We poured ourselves out for a few and were focused in prayer. We became more like a family.
As low numbers persist, the task of support raising still looms, and the future (even my job description) is pretty blurry, the discouragement comes back every now and then. The enemy knows where my weaknesses are. But these times of hardship are refining me. I am learning to pray--with discipline, with spontaneity; often alone, and often with others. And as I take an honest look at my inadequacy for what lies before me at Living Hope, I am learning to stop looking at myself so much (for that leads only to discouragement or my other great weakness--pride), but rather to gaze on Christ, my Savior, Sustainer, Sufficiency, and my Beloved.
My trials have been so small compared to what many of my loved ones are going through. But may it always be a comfort, to me and to you, that God does not waste trials of any size or shape. Through the painful refining process, He is conforming us to the glorious image of His Son.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Welcome!
I have been meaning, for a while, to start a blog to share about what God is teaching me and what He is doing as I work with Living Hope Ministries in NE Minneapolis. Why the title "Captivated"? Because I am captivated with the glory of my Creator, Sustainer, and Savior. As I work with inner-city kids, He has given me a hope that shines in the darkest places, a love that reaches to the unlovable, and a faith that believes the unthinkable. He is what this blog will be about.
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